Have you ever just sat on the beach watching the sunset? Ever walk along the waves early in the morning to collect seashells or even at night just to take a break from the fast pace of the city. Ever lay down under the stars and just enjoyed ever moment? I keep missing the beauty of the world because I’m so wrapped up in my problems that I forgot just taking a break might help me. I need to clear my mind because if I continue on this path I’ll lose myself and everyone around me. School isn’t a place to escape anymore, it’s became my worst nightmare. I’m falling behind and I feel to scared to ask for help. On the inside in screaming at the top of my lungs for no reason. No one hears me, so no one helps me. I’ll probably lose my mind by the age of 27 because I have so many thoughts on here there going to come out sooner or later. Walking through through the crowded halls being pushed feeling sad and lost. I don’t know why I’m even still here. I don’t want to be here anymore. It’s just to hard. I feel like I’m caught in a storm and I’m so close to the island but yet so far away. How much longer do I have? How much pain in the world is there? People are truly suffering and I’m to blind to actually see it. One person gives millions hope……we never have to stand alone.
Because I get to see The Summer Set and This Providence again! Plus I’ll actually know who TSS is this time so I just wont be standing there like, ‘um whats going on guys?’ It has been aprooved that I can go and I’ve already got the money for my friends ticket (since I’m such a good friend) and my dad is paying for mine.. Hopefully he won’t go back on his word. But yes I’m excited! Anyone else going? I know a few SoCal people on Tumblr don’t I?
You didn’t buy the tickets yet? Cause i don’t know for sure if I can go.
This week has gone by super fast with me feeling happy and sad. I had the best Tuesday but the worst Wednesday. I don’t like when people think they have the right to tell you what you can or can’t do. I think sometimes you’ve got to let go of the bad. Yes everyone has made mistakes but some people have own up to them. Just let go and move on. Stop dwelling in the past and on all the hurt. I’m sorry but I’m tired of acting immature. This is my last year of high school and I’m going to go out with a BANG. You don’t have to like me but don’t talk about me. I hate being lied too. I hate being confused and trusting someone who only lets me down.
I’ve been through so much with you, more than any other guy, and I still want you as much as I did the first time I laid eyes on you. Every time I see you, it’s like meeting you for the first time all over again. It’s the butterflies in the stomach, the not knowing what to say, but out of all the things you’ve taught me, there’s still one thing I don’t know. I don’t know how to fall out of love with you. I don’t know how to let go and as I stand here looking at you, I wonder if there will ever be a day when I will get over your smile, when I will let go of the hugs you gave me that I continue to feel. a day when I forget the words you said to me, forget what you meant to me or forget how much I love you. But, no matter what you did to me or whatever happens to us, I know I could never get over, let go, or forget about you. When you care about someone as much as I do, being apart is the hardest thing to get used to. I thought I’d handle it just fine and that I’d be happy just to keep you on my mind. But it isn’t always that easy. Sometimes the one thing that would please me the most is simply seeing you. I knew that I’d miss you; I just didn’t know I’d miss you as much as I do. I want to share my tears with you. I want to share my love with you; I want to share my happiness with you. I want to share my strength with you, my smiles, my frowns, my joy, my loss, my good days, and my bad days, the rain, the sunshine, hot cocoa, and the snowflakes. I want to share my life with you.
To let go isn’t to forget, not think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t winning, and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride, and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss, and it’s not defeat. To let go is to cherish memories, but to overcome and to move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and to set yourself free.
I’m surrounded with such amazing writers and I only wish I had the skills to write like that. I have so many thoughts but when I actually write them they sound stupid or just boring.
—————to the point———-
I think sometimes I miss out on the beauty of the world because I’m feeling depressed. That’s the time I should turn to the world not run from it. One serene, beautiful moment when the world and everything in it makes sense. It’s rare and it doesn’t get handed to you on a platter. Which is why you’ve got an entire day to look for it. Take the ocean, the beautiful sounds and smells. The way the waves hit the rocks and sand with such anger. I love sitting there and just watching. Even though I hate sand and trying to fix my towel perfectly which is impossible because sand gets on your towel and then the sand under isn’t straight. Anywhooo, I love the waves. The sound they make when they hit rocks and how high they go up. The ocean makes me happy,(sand doesn’t though lol.)
I love swings too.
Kids have it so easy right now. They get to play all they want and only worrying about 2+2 or 2*2.
I wish I was a kid. I’d take back everything and just live it better. I’d enjoy the park a lot more and the beach. Spending time with my mom watching the tires on cars go around and round. Building sand castles and not eating junk food. Having friends that weren’t mean. Just being free. Growing up doesn’t seem free to me.
I remember my first day of high school, what I wore and how I felt. I remember being scared and lost in such a big place. Tons of teens pushing and walking past me. The weeks and months flew by fast. 10th grade came and I felt smarter and more prepared. I knew where everything was and I’d be fine and I was. 11th grade. New school. I hate starting at new schools, having to find friends and trying to fit in. Luckily enough I made a good friend from Pali.
SENIOR! I thought it would be a blast and so far it’s not as bad as I thought but it’s not as easy either. Pricey too. Always stressing you out about the SAT’s or what college your going to. If you say community they make you feel bad or stupid and that bothers me. Over all it’s whatever. I’m just ready to get out of high school. My years of high school I’ve been a shadow I think. I wasn’t that cool—knowing HAHA I wasn’t near cool. I wasn’t “emo” or a skater. I was me and I made friend being myself.
I want a life that is adventures, that sizzles! I want a life where I’m always laughing and smiling and I don’t want it to end. I want to see the world and met new people. I want to marry a handsome guy makes me feel beautiful.
With every moment we share, every smile, every touch, I become more certain that in you, I’ve found something I’ve looked for a very long time. I don’t know what the future holds, but I do know how much your love excites me and how happy I feel when I’m with you. And, from this day forward, that’s more than enough.
So I’m watching this and I’m scared out of my mind. I will never shame an old lady because after seeing this is scaring me! Omg, like what is this women on? She had a ruler go in her throat but she doesn’t even react to it.
“What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. It wasn’t just about blood relations or shared chromosomes, but something wider, bigger. We have many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, and the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them perfect and we couldn’t expect them to be. You can’t make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build your world from it.”—Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen
“No matter what you do to me, i’m still here. For some odd reason, i stick around and put up with all your mood swings and unkind words. I just let your comments roll off me into a puddle on the floor. I make up excuses on why you didn’t call, try to think of all the answers. I keep going back for more even though sometimes you push me away. I don’t know if i can do better, but do i really want to? You’re quick to push me down when all i want is to be brought up. When I walk out for good, when i really gain the strength i need then maybe you will see. Maybe you can look back and say, “Wow that girl really did love me.” To tell you the truth I don’t have much to offer. But I’ll still give you everything I’ve got, even if it’s barely a thing at all. I’ll give you late nights, long hugs. Someone to talk to, someone to care for, someone who will always be there. A hand to hold, somebody to lean on. And if that’s not enough, just know you have all of me. I hope that’s enough.”—unknown
“I want out of the labels. I don’t want my whole life crammed into a single word. A story. I want to find something else, unknowable, some place to be that’s not on the map. A real adventure. A spinx. A mystery. A blank. Unknown. Undefined.”—Unknown.
I had many pictures in my head about how life would be. How highschool and love would be. Nothing is how I thought it would be. Movies are to blame in my opinion. I thought in high school you’ll find that group of friends and everything be perfect or if you were popular everyone loved you. I found about 6 friends in highschool and Asia is the only one who I’m really tight with and she is a monster of you sleepover. I’ve lost friends who I thought I’d know when I’m 60 but life didn’t turn out that way. Recently an enemy for no reason became a friend and it’s nice. I have made friends from other states and even countries. I love everyone that Ive met even if we aren’t friends. These people make me stronger. Yes highschool is lame and I never ever plan to return to this hell hole.
For love, the picture was a boy and girl. They’d be together forever and never stop loving each other. I think I’ve given up on love because it’s hard to find that one boy that I’ll be comfortable with. That I won’t be worried if I look fat eating in front of him. That I could have messy hair and sweats and he’ll call me beautiful. If I could find this guy my life would be complete. I’d be beyond happy but I’ve meet a lot of jerks and they weren’t even for me…they were for my mom. I don’t want to be old and alone but if that’s how I end up all have a lot of cute dogs. As long as I’m acting and have dogs I’ll be fine.
There’s this quote that goes “accept everything about yourself — I mean everything. You are you and that’s the beginning and the end —no apologies, no regrets.”
I love this quotes because I agree. You have to he who you are and if people don’t like you then those people aren’t worth your time. It shouldn’t be about loving you only if your straight, gay, or black, white or mexican. No one knows why god put each of us are here and people can tell me a sin because I’m mixed or because my mom wasn’t married and had me. I don’t go against gays because my mom’s friend is gay and nice so I support them. People fear change. I hate being told I’m black because I’m not. My dad didn’t come from the black country he gave from somewhere. Im more than a skin color.
It’s 10:27 on a school night and of course I’m not sleeping. That’s is insane…instead of sleeping peacefully I’m watching A Walk to Remember for the 100,000th time these past two weeks. I hate thinking because it leads to something that either makes you happy or unhappy. I don’t understand how some people just don’t have emotions? They don’t smile, laugh, or even cry. If you have at least 1/3 then your human but if you don’t do any of those I don’t understand. Sometimes I wish I could be like. It might be easy then having to feel the pain of love or even not passing a class. To be emotional less…..that would be weird right? Just sitting there without any feelings. Someone called you a really mean thing and you just blink. Someone says I love you and you just walk away. How do you it? I think sometimes you just need to cry and be sad. You need to break down and be torn apart. You need to learn how to pick yourself up and put yourself back together. Sometimes, the only way to be happy is to give into sadness first. Cause without sadness, there’s no happiness, you would never learn to smile. Without a smile you’ll just go through life without seeing all the joy and beauty. It’s hard to find but if you just open your eyes you might catch a glimpse.
What do you’ve got to lose?
It’s always the same. You find someone, think that they’re the one, and then they end up ripping your heart out. But this one? This is different. The real “one” is easy to pick out. See the kid that has always been there for you? The “guy friend” that you never thought you would date? Open your eyes. That’s the one.
“Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. You’re curious and smart and bored, and all you see is the choice between working hard and slacking off. There are so many adventures that you miss because you’re waiting to think of a plan. To find them, look for tiny interesting choices. And remember that you are always making up the future as you go.”—Randall Monroe
“but all we need is some ice cream and a hug. take a good look around; does life really suck? are we just complaining? i hope that this mic is on cause i’m on a roll here. i hope this is making sense, i hope that you’ll throw up your hands and sing it and tell all the haters that they should just shut up and smile.”—unknown
“I don’t want to have to make up my mind, every single day. I don’t want to have to wonder, every single day. I don’t want to live in hesitation, every single day. Do you get it? I don’t want these endless giving-second-changes, every single day! I just want you to be honest with what you’re feeling for me.”—unknown.
“Friendship is where love starts. I would have never have given you a second look if you didn’t convince me that you were my friend. Love is complicated enough you have to be friends with the other person before it could lead to anything serious.”—Unknown.
My Saturday night was pretty boring and made me think if this is my future. I did my mom’s laundry and my own. I did most my homework and I cleaned my room and bathroom. Then I was on the phone for a couple of hours with my best friend Sahur watching this movie and just talking about random things. I thought could this be me when I move out? Doomed to a boring Saturday night, OVER AND OVER AND OVER? Oh and I also ate about a zillion oreo cake thingys and pringles. Guess who’s working out tomorrow. I am. Now my night is ending with watching Chelsea Lately and about to rent Trick R’ Treat. Now I’m thinking…. I don’t really want anyone to hate me…but I know a few people probably do. Maybe even more than a few. I can’t say how sorry I am to some of them and I know things are probably impossible to repair thngs with everyone but I am sorry.
Have you ever felt like all of the sudden you don’t fit in? Like all your friends are secretly talking about you… Like your parents don’t care anymore? You go to school just to escape but even within the walls there you feel unwelcomed. You start to fade…losing who you were. Or who you were to begin with.
So tell me, when is the last time you walked down the street completely happy with the world? Or even looked in the mirror and smiled because you liked what you saw?
“My thoughts about the world are shaken. Like driving along a bumpy road and losing control of the steering wheel, tossing you-just a tad-off the road. The wheels kick up some dirt, but you’re able to pull it back. Yet, no matter how tightly you grip the wheel, no matter how hard you try to drive straight, something keeps jerking you to the side. You have so little control over anything anymore. And at some point, the struggle becomes too much-too tiring- and you consider letting go. Allowing tragedy.. or whatever.. to happen.”—Thirteen Reasons Why